A wasted dream

A wasted dream

Yes we live in a cynical world, wherein aesthetic matters a lot. Be it choosing a potential mate or the fate of a flick all depends on looks. Susan Boyle has gone against this principle, but I am sure glamour will touch her. She is just one example, and we know exceptions do occur. Her internet video has now clocked 42 million hits. 

So does this show there are millions of people whose dreams had been wasted?

Check out video here 

This wonderful composition from Les Mis, the French musical, has become my instant favourite, as the little tiger has already turned my dreams to shame.

I dreamed a dream - Les Misérables

I dreamed a dream in time gone by 

When hope was high, 

And life worth living 

I dreamed that love would never die 

I dreamed that God would be forgiving. 

Then I was young and unafraid 

When dreams were made and used, 

And wasted 

There was no ransom to be paid 

No song unsung, 

No wine untasted. 

But the tigers come at night 

With their voices soft as thunder 

As they tear your hopes apart 

As they turn your dreams to shame. 

And still I dream he'll come to me 

And we will live our lives together 

But there are dreams that cannot be 

And there are storms 

We cannot weather... 

I had a dream my life would be 

So different from this hell I'm living 

So different now from what it seems 

Now life has killed 

The dream I dreamed.

Glimpse in Cold.

Glimpse in Cold. 

It was winter, and at my place, winters are harsh. At an altitude of 3600 meters above sea level in winters even the day temperatures barely cross the freezing point. There is a joke popular there, that goes like that we can easily fool a person who is not from my place into believing that at my place "spit freezes before it hit the ground" in those winter periods.

It is routine there to heat up the engine of a vehicle, else it won’t start. My routine also consisted of taking kerosene stove near our vehicle and our driver use to shove it inside under the engine of our gypsy. Fifteen minutes of flame and only then the gypsy would hum.

The reward for this exercise was driving lessons from Acho (brother), for a kid who has not reached his legal driving age. I could hardly reach for the accelerator and manage to see from the windshield simultaneously. But I wasn’t a bad driver at all. Even on ice, while the rear wheels would skid, I use to manage the vehicle. 

So it was another cold night, but I was looking forward. She was coming for supper with her parents and sister.The presence of her were always a beatitude, but how do I overcome the adrenaline rush, that was always a troublesome issue. My only antidote for that was to enjoy the fascinating smile from a distance.  

It seems she had no idea, that I was espying at her and enjoying the pleasant gleam and glow. She was flipping pages of our old album, but for me it seems the moment has frozen as the pictures in that album. 

But the moment was short lived and after dinner they started to head back home. And there we were outside, waving them goodbye and a good thing happened. Their car didn’t start. :-) It meant another few moments with her. I thanked the God for jamming her car's engine.

So it was decided we push the car. While I was pushing the car, I prayed. Don’t start! But this time my lady luck was sleeping. 

The car didn’t need my push as the engine was running.

Surprise Banjo lesson

Surprise Banjo lesson

As usual school proctors had to attend a briefing from the teachers for important event ahead. 

The briefing was in the school auditorium, which was newly built. I remember the days when the only the skeleton of auditorium was ready. It was all concrete pillars with steel running all around.

It was considered to be major feat, if any guy could scale pillar on one side of the wall,

walk through the steel structure and get down from other end of the hall.  I also achieved this feat, but it scared the hell out of me. The reason being the roof of the hall was more than 20 feets

away from floor and walking 20 feets above the ground on steel rods for person with acrophobia is a big deal.

A variant of banjo was kept on a table, this one you play like piano but you also pluck the strings using a plectrum. I was trying my hand at the instrument and it was nothing but a mixture of cacophonies. 

She comes to me with her alluring smile. I have never seen her without that extremely pleasant facial expression. She offered a lesson of few notes. I was elated, as for the first time I was so close to her. I watched her play the instrument from behind.  I don’t know what note she played or whether it was all together a note, but for me it sounded nothing less than Beethoven’s fifth symphony.

When I was at the Ludwig van Beethoven’s birthplace, somehow it reminded me my banjo lesson.

 

My name is there in the "Hall of fame" list in that very auditorium, which says I have won an academic battle. But there is also a list which says that I have lost a war. Although it is not displayed anywhere.

I wish I had taken some musical lessons from my from my musical maestro friend, he played almost all the instruments which were available around us at that time. He would play a bollywood number on tabla with ease or play a soothing composition on flute. He represented school, on musical competitions with his banjo, electronic keyboard, flute or tabla and won accolades.

May be if i had understood and tuned my musical notes then these lines of vestige wouldn’t have existed.

I have woken up from a wonderful dream. A beautiful dream as if it was painted by the hands of God. 

To Almighty -->

"I want to dream again."

To her -->

"No matter how much you loath me, I will be awake and waiting in this infinite cold."

Watch Austrian orchestra and opera conductor Herbert von Karajan perform Beethoven Symphony No. 5 , Allegro con brio and Andante con moto. 

The first and the second movement respectively.

 

Lost and found

“When I was a kid, two and half years old one day I was locked out side the main door. It was an old wooden door with its latch high up. I don’t remember how I came out but some how realized that I was out and I didn’t know how to open the door. So I started playing right there outside the door. Just then two ladies came asking if one of my cousins had come. They asked me. I remember that and I out of my concern, set out to look for my cousin. If stories are to be believed, I reached near the mosque and there one of the ladies selling milk took care of me and taking me for some Muslims kid. I even took a nap there then you know what I ended up with a stranger 

 

In the mean time when I absence was noticed at home, people started looking for me my neighbors, so many of them. One of the old ladies started screaming at sister for not looking after me and then finally when I was no where to be found, they set out to the police station. In the strangers house (this part I remember a bit) I was asked bout my details father's name ma's name my house was somewhere there!!!!!

So she too gave up on me and decided to take me to the police station.

 

And then my fate took a turn and she met my pa and my folks on the way.

 

Thus I was back, happy, smiling and cooing with my pa and my folks”

(Based on a real life experience of a narrator)

Without you

I was introduced to this song by a friend of mine,

Its by Brad Arnold of 3 Doors Down!

3 Doors Down - Here Without You

A hundred days had made me older 

since the last time that I've saw your pretty face 

A thousand lights had made me colder 

and I don't think I can look at this the same 

But all the miles had separate 

They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still on my lonely mind 

I think about you baby 

and I dream about you all the time 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still with me in my dreams 

And tonight it's only you and me 

The miles just keep rollin 

as the people either way to say hello 

I've heard this life is overrated 

but I hope that it gets better as we go 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still on my lonely mind 

I think about you baby 

and I dream about you all the time 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still with me in my dreams 

And tonight girl it's only you and me 

Everything I know, 

and anywhere I go 

it gets hard but it won't take away my love 

And when the last one falls, 

when it's all said and done 

it get hard but it won't take away my love 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still on my lonely mind 

I think about you baby 

and I dream about you all the time 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still with me in my dreams 

And tonight girl it's only you and me 

(Brad this is my addition to your work)

Even though you are not in my sight,

you 'll be never in oblivion,

i will keep away my sorry plight,

and hope your life wouldnt be empty

I'm here without you baby 

but your still on my lonely mind 

I think about you baby 

and I dream about you all the time 

I'm here without you baby 

but your still with me in my dreams 

And tonight girl it's only you and me 

Happy Birthday Tinkerbell

Joyeux Anniversaire Tinkerbell.

Yes i know i am ten days late for this, but since you are a fairy you must know what my plans were for that day. When will i hear the sound of tinkling bell ? Wish i was also in neverland.

But as someone as a said.

"If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride"

But i still see destitute people around ....!

Any way bonsior !

Silentium Amoris

I take the liberty of reproducing the work of Irish poet Oscar Wilde.

As oftentimes the too resplendent sun

   Hurries the pallid and reluctant moon

Back to her sombre cave, ere she hath won

   A single ballad from the nightingale,

So doth thy Beauty make my lips to fail,

   And all my sweetest singing out of tune.

And as at dawn across the level mead

   On wings impetuous some wind will come,

And with its too harsh kisses break the reed

   Which was its only instrument of song,

So my too stormy passions work me wrong,

   And for excess of Love my Love is dumb.

But surely unto Thee mine eyes did show

   Why I am silent, and my lute unstrung;

Else it were better we should part, and go,

   Thou to some lips of sweeter melody,

And I to nurse the barren memory

   Of unkissed kisses, and songs never sung.

   

This poem touched me , because this great piece of poetry is relates to my life. Mr Wilde, the only thing  thats different is that my memories are not barren, thought they are minute. 

If you are asking the question to me , than my answer would be ... NO ! Even though those reckless winds have destroyed the meadows, the minuscule memories will cherish my life. May be you never "part and go". It just that physical entity is non existent, but you can always enjoy the memories.